I Had a Dream

Day one week forty two year 2017. Today is Sunday October 8. A time for meditation, for focus your thoughts on life!


Good Morning, my name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)


Please take time to prepare your mind to hear, to allow your spirit to be in tune with the SPIRIT of God.


Thoughts from Brother Lawrence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQS9mbXJ5UU


SCRIPTURE: https://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu//texts.php?id=162


Exodus 20:1-4, 7-9, 12-20 and Psalm 19 • Isaiah 5:1-7 and Psalm 80:7-15 • Philippians 3:4b-14 • Matthew 21:33-46

Lord the Scripture reminds us of a way of life. It is in choosing to follow good that you are revealed to us. By choosing to respect what exists we discover a higher source, a higher desire for life itself.


Lord the law causes us to reflect on a higher meaning, a higher purpose. As we live within the structure of the law we experience that if the law seeks our good, then how much more would the creator of the law want only good for us.


Lord in discovering good, I discover how love becomes real.


Thank you for loving me when I did not realize I was being loved.


The Psalmist understood this. The writings of the stories, the words of the poems, the myth of the legends, the peace that a reality exists beyond my control allows me to rest, to know that love is unshakable, that somehow love finds it’s source in one who’s greatness is not measured in greatness but rather in the gentleness of having a way to share the everyday concerns.


Lord to meditate on this gentleness nurtures an awareness of the redemptive power renewing life everyday.


Lord, can we choose life? Is it by choosing to live that we discover life? Yes. Amen.


Lord what if we choose to destroy life? What if we choose to ignore the intentions of good, do we then seek evil? Do we then choose to inflict the power of death into our own lives? Do we fail to understand how our own actions ultimately become destructive?


Lord is it in seeking life that we then seek healing?


The Apostle again focuses on Jesus. Lord are we to know you by living the good that has been revealed?


Lord the words of the parable seem to give hope that we who struggle with life, we who struggle to find our way can be a part of this new beginning. Thank you and Amen.










After working hard for the last few days my body was aching. I sat down for a rest. It wasn’t long before I fell asleep.  I began to dream. I dreamt about my chair. It is a REAL chair. It is a Lazy-Boy. It is my piece of heaven. I can go there and it welcomes me. It never rejects me. It says sit back, put your feet up. T-H-E-R-E!


Then, at 11:p.m. as clear as can be, A VOICE said TAKE YOUR PILLS. I was dreaming. Another voice responded…DON’T WANT TO! Within seconds my body was sound asleep. A smile spread across the face of this sleeping “baby Huey.”


1:45 a.m. The voice, again, louder, TAKE YOUR PILLS. ……..silence as first one eye and then the second eye opened. My body turned slowly while getting out of the chair. Rising, looking toward the desk, the pills. THE PILLS. I had a dream.


4:30 a.m. Somehow I made it to the bed. 65 degrees in the room. I was wrapped in my favorite blanket. It had gotten up to 90+ degrees that day. The night was chilly. I turned to go back to sleep. The dream turned friendly. A marching band entered my room. The flutes, the horns, the drums all gently began to circle my bed. What a delight. The uniforms bright red with plums. Then as quickly as they started they stopped. My eyes fluttering as the dream continued. Wonderful I thought. Then without warning a team of acrobats joined in the circus. One came from the right, the other from the left. Just as they got over my ears the largest hugest cymbals ever created appeared. They were on a collision course. The smash, the sound was so powerful it lifted me from the bed, my hands covering my ears. I knew I was under attack but why. Why, why, this was only a dream. Why can’t I just sleep!


The members of the band, the acrobats then stood at attention. They formed a line. They pointed to the desk, TAKE YOUR PILLS is what they said. TAKE YOUR PILLS.     I did.




Moses brought the people to a new land, to a new way of living. He gave a set of words. Some thought they were a hard pill to swallow. Some grieved their past, leave me alone. Why can’t I just go back, why can’t life be the way it was before. The people cried. Life would never be the same.


Moses, the Psalmist, the Apostle Paul and even Jesus reflected on what ultimately speaks of the Love of God. There is a way, a way that leads to meaning and redemption. There is a way that brings healing and justice. It is not about retribution it is about building relationships. Perhaps it is only a dream. But, the important question is, do you share the dream? Is this your dream too?


CONCLUSION: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRb769P50IQ I HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW JESUS.




Meditation- A time of Quietness and Preparation-really!

A time of quietness and preparation.



Day one week fourty year 2017.


Today is Sunday September 24, a day for nurturing meditation and spirituality.


Good Morning, my name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)


Please take time to prepare your mind to hear, to allow your spirit to be in tune with the SPIRIT of God.


The Scripture for this week is: Exodus 16:2-15 and Psalm 105:1-6, 37-45  •  Jonah 3:10-4:11 and Psalm 145:1-8  •  Philippians 1:21-30  •  Matthew 20:1-16




Prayer: (as you read the scriptures allow the words to touch your thoughts, write down your prayers.)


Lord as I sit here I remember how easy it is to complain. I remember how easy it is to seek support as if my complaining would make all the difference. I listen to Israel and hear myself. It has seemed like a long 67 years. But now, it seems like a short time. The days disappear as if they are words written, etched in sand waiting for the waters to come and say here, a clean slate, write again.


Lord the Psalmist as ever abruptly invades my thoughts with the newer reality. Tears rush in where sadness once reigned supreme. There are no words to understand. Today is a day of victory. Yesterday I worked for 8 straight hours. How long has it been? Over ten years my body has known the attack of having to stop. But yesterday every box moved, stacked, tied down, every time the car started, every time I made a correct turn and did not lose my way. Every time I remembered what the next step was I knew I was winning. Thank you Lord for breakfast and for supper.


Lord  I understand the justice Jonah sought as he ran away. What a strange paradox. How does anyone speak to a nation who’s values are built on shifting sand? How can the house stand when the foundation so easily rots away? How can anyone understand such a great mercy that you would call Jonah, in fact call us to share your caring. It is so easy to sit under the coolness of the tree. It is even easier to justify staying under the tree for you have sent deliverance.


Lord you have taken our lives and you want to declare, I am your presence in this broken world. You have said the laborer will be filled by doing the work, the task set before us. For this is your salvation. Thank you Lord.


Lord I am now flooded with thoughts, but, I am dying. Everyday this illness takes more away. But somehow every day I come to understand that less has become more.


Thank you.


MUSIC: Reflect from your past, allow the flow of the music or the words from the song to retell the story of the scripture.


In Thee is Gladness interpreted from German in 1598 by Catherine Winkworth, written by Johann Lindemann


1 In Thee is gladness amid all sadness,

Jesus, day-star of my heart!

By Thee are given the gifts of heaven,

thou the true Redeemer art!

Our souls thou wakest;

our bonds thou breakest.

Who trusts Thee surely

has built securely and stands forever: Allelujah!

Our hearts are longing to see thy dawning.

Living or dying, in thee abiding,

naught can us sever: Allelujah!

2 Jesus is ours!

We fear no powers,

not of earth or sin or death.

He sees and blesses in worst distresses;

he can change them with a breath.

Wherefore the story –

tell of His glory with hearts and voices;

all heaven rejoices in him forever: Allelujah!

We shout for gladness,

triumph o’er sadness,

love him and praise him,

and still shall raise him

glad hymns forever: Allelujah!

The Morning Trumpet – Shenandoah Christian Music Camp



I have intentionally added what could be considered as “old” Christian sound. Please go in search of music that speaks of thoughts that are important to you.


Bonse Aba – Shenandoah Christian Music Camp





Emotionally I have been all over the place this morning. The scripture reading nailed me. By following the words of Israel’s history and then the words of reflection I automatically get caught.


This is about life. Somehow today I too am touched by life.


At the same time readings, talks, prayers, music all become ways to present the opportunity for meditation.


Meditation is like a dart thrown by an unexperienced dart thrower. Some times the dart seems to have a mind of it’s own. You/I could be hit anywhere. Any nerve could be touched. The random dart has the propensity to hit a nerve. You have been there. Music comes on, first your toe moves, then your hand, then your head is bouncing to the tune.


A few months ago in a restaurant a guest musician showed up. He was a drummer. He played set after set. Then the break came. He immediately came to our table. He looked at my friend and said wow can you play a set for us. My friend beat the table as if he was on the bongo’s. The entertainer then said you were with me. It wasn’t long before I was able to move my sound so your sound was a part of the gig. You were hot. How long have you been playing. My friend said I have never played in my life. He laughed. The whole table got into the discussion. Meditation has the ability to “suck” you into the event. Meditation becomes that moment when you know you are a part of the gig!


Sometimes words get in the way. An old pastor once told the story of recreating the banners in the church. People were invited to create banners. Upfront the rule was no words! People came in with banners made of cloth with many colors, pictures made like the stories on a felt board. Images recreated from the sight of stain glass. It was a moment when the moment was given freedom to be the moment.


A street dancer dared to join a congregation in worship. A moment happened, he stood up and danced to the music. It wasn’t long before another person stood. Within a few minutes many from the congregation were standing and had become a part of the movement. Voices could be heard giving praise to God. While others quietly bowed, thank you Jesus became the mantra of the moment.


This time of meditation arises for you, for me to allow our faith to be talked about in a genuine way. It is given as a moment of spontaneity. A time to let what is in you have the freedom to respond.


How many stories are there, as many as we have people ready to respond.


Take care, enjoy the moment. Allow the story of time, the gentleness of God’s Spirit to give you the freedom to internalize and then externalize the moment.






Please share with us a moment when you experienced being a part of the “gig!”

Tell Your Own Story

Day one week thirty eight year 2017.
Today is Sunday September 17, a day of nurturing meditation and spirituality.

Good Morning.  My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)


The introductory process is to read the scripture. Each time a thought is prompted, write it down creating a prayer concerning your life situation.




Exodus 14:19-31 and Psalm 114 or Exodus 15:1b-11, 20-21  •  Genesis 50:15-21 and Psalm 103:(1-7), 8-13  •  Romans 14:1-12  •  Matthew 18:21-35



Lord as I read the text I am immediately charged with voices of doubt. None of this could have happened. Then I think, I am not here to argue the validity of the words but invited to understand the validity of my own story.

Lord teach me to hear words that give validity to my own story.

Lord teach me to have the willingness to share my own story.

Lord I am amazed at what comes to me once I start listening. Once I walk the steps of the story, once I sing the words, once I insert my own words, I feel different.

Lord I now laugh as I begin to sing the song I learned as a child. How many words, how many stories. How many times have I stood at the doorway of death, laid in its bed and then walked away! Lord you have one more task, one more verse to add to the song. Bless the Lord Oh my soul and all that is within me! Bless His Holy name.

Be free to live in me with your grace and forgiveness so I can be free to live in you with your grace and forgiveness.


please write your words of prayer as you read the scripture.


MUSIC: It is said music is the universal language. As I was reading and praying I kept getting interrupted with the words of this first song

Bless the Lord Oh My Soul



Tell Your Heart to Beat Again


Another song (I could not find the sound track is here )

There were so many uncertainties in my life during my college days.

This song by Ray Hildebrand constantly filled my mind.



To some He gave the gift of prophecy,

To me He gave a song.

To His children, He gives the gift of love.

To share as they pass along.

Doubts and fear, they come from down below,

So when you way is dim.

Just look in the Book,

I’ll tell you where to look: Romans ten, nine and ten.



If I live, well, praise the Lord.

If I die, well, praise the Lord.

If I live or die, my only cry will be,

Jesus in me, praise the Lord.


The love He gives lasts for eternity,

Cast all your cares on him.

He died on the cross to save you from sin,

And then He rose again.

The Christian life is more than a quality,

It’s Jesus Christ the man.

It’s saying Lord, I give myself to You.

It’s saying, here I am.


Chorus repeat.


MEDITATION: Tell Your Own Story


I began reading the text for this morning. No sooner than I started reading then my mind said, not this again! How can you believe this about an angel? How many of you really believe? How many times have I cried out and asked, petitioned for help that never came.


Then I remembered the day the diagnosis came. I was in the hospital. A few days before I had a severe temperature. The nurses kept me in an ice bath. They were changing the sheets every couple hours.  The temperature  finally broke. The pain was excruiating. The nurse filled me with the last pain killer she was allowed to administer. She said no more it will kill you.



Later that day a young lady wearing a red and white stripped uniform walked into the room. She asked how she could help. In tears I said ask the nurse for more pain killer. She went to get the nurse. The young lady came back. She stood by the railing, in tears she said, I am so sorry. You can not have any more, it will kill you. Then she sat in the chair gripping the railing crying her eyes out. In a moment she said I am so sorry. She squeezed the railing as she ran out of the room. She was sobbing. As she let go of the railing her hand then ran across the blanket covering me. As she left the room I realized the pain had left my body. A bit later the nurse came in. I thanked her for sending the young girl. She said what girl? I described her. The nurse said Carl we gave up using that uniform over 20 years ago.


Was this young girl an angel? You will not hear me say she was. You will never hear me deny she couldn’t have been.


Tell your own story. We live in a world that needs all the miracles we can get. We need all the helpful intervention we can get.


The next part of the story is about the day after.


It is your story. Israel built a stairway to God by telling both Joseph’s and Moses’s story. But Moses and Joseph could not have built what became the people of Israel. It had to be the People of Israel who by telling their story would see the miracle happen.


The words of the scripture remind us of human nature. Ultimately the words of Jesus call us to a skidding stop. Forgiveness, nurturing and living is what the story becomes about. As people work together, as people formed their own support groups they did have their problems. In time they claimed land and wealth. At times they warred against each other but the mandate was never surrendered.


The battle to defeat long term illnesses, to defeat sarcoidosis  has a similar history.  I remember when we were small. I now see our tribes, our groups seeing accelerated growth. I now understand what it is to wake up the next day. I understand the value of every life lost in this battle. I understand the power of the story. I understand the battle is not lost. I understand the miracle of the angel. I understand there is so much beyond us. I also understand this battle will be won.


A Closing Thought:


A child’s memory, Bless the Lord Oh My Soul

An Overriding Thought: Lost and Confused

Good Morning, this is the Meditation for Sunday September 10, 2017 My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat this statement using your own name.)


An Overriding Thought: Lost and Confused


SCRIPTURE:  http://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/texts.php?id=158


Exodus 12:1-14 and Psalm 149  •  Ezekiel 33:7-11 and Psalm 119:33-40  •  Romans 13:8-14  •  Matthew 18:15-20


PRAYER:  Using the term, the order of prayer. A C T S.


A= Lord I woke up this morning confused, what day is this? What season is this? My mind could not connect with what I would be working on. I felt like I was wandering, floating, drifting. Then as I began reading the story of Moses and Aaron you spoke to them. Tell the people this will be the first day of the month. Along with creating a calendar you also created  a celebration. It is a day to bring the lamb. It will be a day of feasting, remembering it is for us to recognize you seek to know us as your people. Thank you for seeking me out and delivering me from this confusion.


C= Lord I confess my confusion about the use of blood. The slaughter of people, people known as the enemy. Today we are facing massive tragedy

as the hurricanes and earthquakes do their “thing.” We watch as despots try to turn people away from you toward themselves. I confess again in my confusion I would want evil and evil ways destroyed. Let those who practice evil doing be destroyed.


T= Lord I recognize the Psalmist words that come more easily, praise, and thanksgiving echo through my mind. They are accompanied by laughter, smiles and your Spirit who turns me away from the pain and struggle of everyday living.


S= Lord the Prophet Ezekiel reminds us we are confronted with choices. We can choose to warn others about walking with you or away from you. Help me, help your people to be sensitive knowing as we warn others, we can together experience your deliverance. We can experience your joy.


Lord in the words of the Psalmist teach us, give us understanding, lead us to know, to walk in your commandments.Turn me to be faithful to your person that I may show others about you.


The Apostle Paul reminds us of your commands. Help me to remember them that I might experience your salvation.  Help me to walk in your ways that I may walk in your steps as Jesus has for it is a way of grace, it is a way to experience life and to give life.


Please add your prayer thoughts in the reply areas above.


Music: Please add your music selections:


Love Divine all Love Excelling



Go forth and Tell! O Church of God Awake!


Meekness and Majesty



Meditation: An Overriding Thought: Lost and Confused


A young man had just spent a full month laying in a hospital bed. Awake, sleepy, sleeping. Not too coherent and on 160 mg of prednisone. Then he woke up. The doctor said “go home” and stay out of trouble. The young man went home. He started to feel restless. He decided to drive to the other side of town and go to his favorite bookstore. Joseph O Gara, a man as old as the City of Chicago itself seemed to have become a friend. They visited. The young man then left. Heading home he got to 69th and the Dan Ryan Expressway. He put his left blinker on. He turned on the way to get on the main expressway. Standing at the bottom of the hill was a Chicago Policeman. The young man knew the rumor Chicago Policemen were on a  quota system. He would very intentionally use his blinker to change lanes. Left, left, left. As many times as necessary he was telling the officer I will obey the law.


Within a few moments the officer jumped out in front of the young man’s moving car. The officer yelled out, PULL OVER! He then wrote the license plate number down, came to the window, asked for the driver’s license. The young man asked what he had done wrong. The issuing officer simply responded, I have to give you a ticket. Each time the young man asked the question the officer CLARIFIED I have to give you a ticket.


The court date finally came. A very long line of potential offenders was waiting to see the judge. The issuing officers for about 400 people were sitting in chairs facing the judge. The judge began his process. “Guilty or not guilty” the judge cried out. The offender yelled back “not guilty.” “GUILTY” the judge yelled. $75 the Judge yelled.  He went from one person to another. Every one was declared guilty. Then the person directly before  the young man was asked, guilty or not guilty. The man started to cry out “but I didn’t do anything.” The judge leaned forward and read off the ticket, illegal U turn. The man said but I turned around at the end of a cul-de-sac. GUILTY $475. AN ADDITIONAL $400 FOR WASTING THE COURT’S TIME!


There was a pause as the man was removed from court.


The young man was next. The judge screamed. GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY. The young man very nervously looked up not saying anything. Then it was as if the ceiling opened, a bright light shown through and a voice boomed out, OF WHAT CHARGE? Just as quickly as this happened the light disappeared and the voice was finished. The young man abruptly looked square in the judge’s eyes. The judge looked back and said, “the court is waiting young man.”


The young man with an even voice still looking into the judge’s eyes simple said, OF WHAT CHARGE?” By this time the issuing officers were leaning forward as if to start “projectile laughing.” Some had already dropped to their knees. Some were laughing so hard they could not be heard. The judge yelled out, guilty or not guilty. The young man yelled back, OF WHAT CHARGE?


The judge reaching over to the ticket read it out loud. The charge, LOST AND CONFUSED. No valid charge the judge said.


The young man walked out of court, license in hand. Not guilty. I think it is absolutely fascinating as Moses, Aaron and Paul all worked on the subject

of helping to define confusion. Jesus on the other hand talked about freedom to move on with life, experience forgiveness. He suggested confusion does not have to lead you or me.


I remember that story as if it were just yesterday. It has always given me the freedom to be free and not let others intimidate me. I never saw that judge or officer again as we soon moved to Canada and experienced the new life.




Exodus 3:1-15 and Psalm 105:1-6, 23-26, 45b  •  Jeremiah 15:15-21 and Psalm 26:1-8  •  Romans 12:9-21  •  Matthew 16:21-28

Lord I am greeted this morning by the Spirit of expectation. My prayer is guided by the words of Scripture. Each of the passages have something to share with me, with the group, with those of us who struggle with our past and now with our present.

Lord thank you for Moses for his humanity, for the things I can learn about you through him. I am prompted to listen to the conversation and amazed how the conclusion is so different. Here we are to understand how little we know about You instead of how much we know.

Lord teach me, teach us patience, nurture us to understand the meaning of getting to know you. Let us understand we have walked through time, time nurtures us, gives us space to be nurtured. We do not own time. We are like the Israelites of old. We wander from day to day not knowing what the day will bring.

Lord, thank you. As in many situations I simply forget. Thank you. All the medications, all the damage, not remembering those things I keep putting behind me, some times, intact many times I forget the good things as well as the bad. So thank you that you choose to walk with me anyway.

Lord I confess my self centeredness. It has become all to easy live in my own world. I pray for your forgiveness. I pray the walls I am building around myself will be taken down and rebuilt with the understanding and perspective that I am your servant. I pray that like Israel of old we would be nurtured, I would be nurtured. Knowledge comes to your people that our/my life is  be taken and being filled with your grace.  As your grace then has the freedom to flow through me, then to others.

Lord as I read the words of Jeremiah I am reminded of a sorrowful man. He felt so abandoned, so left out. At times I feel the same way. Deliver me, allow your grace to nurture me through a stressful reality. May the darkness turn to light. May the night turn to day. May the tears of sadness turn to tears of joy. May the deliverance not nurture retribution, may deliverance nurture kindness, powerful hugs.

Lord let these words be words of integrity, words of faith nurtured in dialogue, nurtured as words being tested by the fires of life.

Lord allow us to be a team, a people who forgives, who forgets. If we are to be found guilty may we be found as doers of good works of gentle ways.

Lord may we understand the brokenness of our world. May we understand the power of dying to our own hopes and expectations. May we see our short sightedness in favor of your vision.



All Creatures of Our God and King

Bless the Lord Oh My Soul


Trust in You



MEDITATION:  Please read the scriptures before reading the meditation.




There are some things in life you are destined to do. There are times when you may want to say, “STOP THE WORLD, I WANT OFF!

Moses no doubt found himself in that situation.

He was born an immigrant. He could not change that. The blood flowing through his veins somehow kept reminding him of that.

His patterns of behavior were nurtured, it was as if the patterns began to live on their own not the life Moses had hoped for. I am convinced you understand these words. It is as if sarcoidosis entered your life and began to turn you in it’s own direction. The blood flowing through your veins sprinkled Sarcoidosis’s influence. Sarcoidosis would then lie dormant until a triggering event would happen. Moses understood triggering events. God then said I want you.

Who are you. This voice coming from beyond says “I am.” They will come to know me because they will come to know you. This is what this life is about for you. You have your destiny. I will nurture you.

Many of us going through long term sarcoidosis are getting to understand destiny. We are often tired of being told what our destiny is. How can someone else know when they do not know what is going on. How can they deny the story, yet they do. Perhaps their ignorance is part of our destiny.

Tell them of the good things happening to you. Tell them of the sustaining events in your life. Tell them pain and suffering is real. Tell them there is a greater good than just for ones self. Moses wanted nothing to do with this “human rights” walk. He just wanted to walk away. How many times have you said to yourself. OKAY doctor, thanks for letting me know. I’ll be going now. Got a lot to do, don’t have time for all those big words no one knows anyway.


It doesn’t work like that says the voice. Don’t argue, just keep going. I will nurture you. Your destiny is before you. The struggle was real. The trials massive. Never forget this is your destiny. You have been given permission to live, think, and care when the world says we don’t have time to care or to care about others. You will not be a martyr. You will live through this illustrating my desire for a meaningful destiny, a message consistent with the history of the voice.

Moses no doubt cried out, why are you always thinking of yourself first? Why can’t you live with what you need instead of your greed? Why can’t you understand we are all immigrants needing to be supportive to/for each other. Moses had his destiny. We have a destiny. Sarcoidosis as villainous as it becomes pales into insignificance when we live out our destiny.

Please choose to live out your destiny. You are not alone. Thousands have heard the same voice and are responding out of a destiny meant to bring hope and healing.

Closing Thought:

We are Messengers









Evil exists but God desires good.

Good morning, this is the meditation for August 27, 2017. My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)


This process of providing a “religious” outlet for the members of the Sarcoidosis group began out of conflict. A few years ago there was a discussion about too much religion on Facebook. The conversation became quite animated. Within the first day over 275 members left the Sarcoidosis group. At first I thought the issue was about religious words. Then much to my surprise I discovered the frustration was about the word “drama.” Most people weren’t arguing about religion, they wanted the bickering to stop.

In light of that understanding I began working on words that led to nurturing the freedom to be expressing spirituality without imposing religious “head trips.”

The next controversy was about the use of the understanding of prayer. What is meant when someone asks for prayer or says I will pray for you?

I will now go into this meditation using a form, a process that I hope will give an understanding to nurturing Spirituality. You will discover a pattern that varies a bit each week but pretty much stays on target.

By reading to the end of this you will have a view of my own search to resolve this conflict within myself. At the same time as administrator of the group I hope there are words that give room for people to talk out of their spiritual pilgrimage.

PRAYER: The word prayer takes on different meanings to different people. For some it means centering, for some the word focus comes to mind, for others the concept of emptying the mind with hopes to receiving, for some it is a form of plea bargaining. For some it is a shotgun blast into the heavens hoping something magical will happen. Needless to say the word has a mixed history and a mixed usage. For me it is ultimately an act of communication. It is the use of words to speak of an “innerness” being expressed. At times it is a moment of silence asking that the emotions, thoughts, feelings etc be heard. Who will hear these words. I am a believer there is a God and this God hears.


Lord God there are four words that come to mind. The first is ADORATION. I am in awe of beauty, I am in awe of the creative nature of both humanity and creation itself. I am moved to believe I am only a part of what exists and what has existed and what will exist. Lord God I now CONFESS my place and activity in time. I confess I am a gifted person, I confess I am a broken person, I confess at times I do good, I confess at times I do not do good. I confess I need to confess. Lord God I simply say THANK YOU. I list off those benefits I have received and those things that nurture my life and the lives of those I love. Thank you. Once again not only do I believe you exist but I believe you seek to express yourself to me personally. Thank you. The next word in this prayer Lord is the prayer of SUPPLICATION. It is the confession of wants and needs. I want our people to experience a sense of wholeness, I want our people to experience healing. I need others healthy, I need healing stories and understandings that as I accept the truth of these moments they can be applied into my own life as well. I want to read the scripture and see history in action. I want to be a part of this holy history. Amen.

I borrow this outline from a stranger to me. I first read his work in my 20’s. It is known as the ACTS of prayer. Adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication all work into a format quite inclusive.

SCRIPTURE: Each week Scripture comes from the Bible. I am a Protestant. I use the Protestant Bible because it helps me focus on my own history and pilgrimage. I use what is called the Lectionary. I use the lectionary because it is a disciplined approach to reading the Bible. It is also the outgrowth of the work of many scholars, this causes me to put my own wisdom and knowledge into a conversational dialogue. Truth does not begin and end with me. I participate in truth as a historical process. Here now is the reading for this week.


Year A – Season after Pentecost – Proper 16 (21) : Revised Common Lectionary

Exodus 1:8-2:10 and Psalm 124 • Isaiah 51:1-6 and Psalm 138 • Romans 12:1-8 • Matthew 16:13-20

PLEASE READ ALL THE SCRIPTURE BEFORE PROCEEDING. You will find all scriptures posted on the link page above.


Great Is Thy Faithfulness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKZ0xmkUtUo

Come Alive https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XAeyFagceQ&feature=share

“Come Alive (Dry Bones)” featuring Lauren Daigle -…


Music is the language that crosses all lines. It seems to speak to our heart when our brains can’t grasp what is being said. Nurturing music soothes the soul.

MEDITATION: Evil exists but God desires good.

The setting in the book of Exodus is a common one, generation one does good. Success breeds comfort zones. Then self centeredness reads life circumstances as threatening. Then policies are changed to subvert society creating a class structure oppressive to one group while being excessive for others. Spirituality as defined by the first generation allowed for openness and working together for the good of all. Then the threat took control and spirituality was redefined into a form of nationalism, then classism then economic justifications.

What is, what was spirituality?

The King began to live out a rigid definition of words understanding society as he knew it was changing. Egypt had become an immigrant nation.

But what happens when the daughter spoke out against the evil doings of her Father.

It is my understanding Egypt had a Code to live by. When the Code was followed it was not just something of conscience. It was a call to behavior. Spirituality was nurtured by, for lack of a better word, religion. The code called for specific religious behavior.

Spirituality is not passive. It is a “doing.”

Evil exists but God celebrated good.

The Psalmist turns this story and other stories into a walk of faith. The reverse happens as religious duty, religious activity becomes spirituality.  The words of the people celebrate how when they followed the ways of God the people then became spiritual.  They readily understood spirituality was not passive. It was something “done.” The people understood evil existed but God chose good.

The prophet Isaiah echoed this understanding as he became the voice for God. Out of his bowels came an understanding. Justice was an act of spirituality. Spirituality nurtures justice.

There is in this series of scriptures a message. People living with long term illnesses find themselves at the mercy of the powers that be. How can we talk about spirituality when our prayers seem to bounce off the ceiling? How can we talk about spirituality when the system seems to make decisions that cause us to suffer more. How can we believe in spirituality when our efforts fall short of acceptance.

Egypt did not learn. Israel became a people vacillating and wavering, their message of spirituality and standing against evil got lost. Perhaps in the wanderings, in the grumbling and the groaning the message of focusing on spirituality, on doing good found yet another way to be heard. There is an alternative. God chooses to use each of us. Strong or weak. It is in the gift of life we have the opportunity to benefit from each other. The Apostle Paul talks about each of us being gifted. Even in our weakness we create opportunities for spirituality to be nurtured.

This week I begin training a group of people to coach others. We now have over 8500 members in the Sarcoidosis group. Our team of coaches will look at the concept of understanding not just the purpose of life but the purpose of living. By focusing on spirituality the pieces of the puzzle will begin to fall into place. Each person’s life is that of an individual. The King’s daughter learned that at an early age. When she faced evil she did not hesitate to do good.

Jesus builds on this understanding when he talks to Peter.  He acknowledges that building your life on the rock “foundation” gives opportunity for the keys of the kingdom to be used. A little bit of heaven will be experience today. Spirituality is a walk of life.


Matthew West. Do Something




Good Morning, this is the Meditation for Sunday August 20, 2017

My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)

NURTURING NEW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Z0mlwcfD8

SCRIPTURE: http://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/texts.php?id=155

Genesis 45:1-15 and Psalm 133 • Isaiah 56:1, 6-8 and Psalm 67 • Romans 11:1-2a, 29-32 • Matthew 15: (10-20), 21-28


PRAYERS: As you read the Scripture please add a sentence prayer.

Lord as I read again and again and again this passage where Joseph says he was sent before his family that they might be saved I think how this story has affected my attitude. This story gave me permission to say yes. When the doctor walked in my hospital room he said the sarcoidosis was spreading at an alarming rate. We want to fill your body with prednisone and monitor it. Than you Lord for experiments.

Lord thank you like the Psalmist said, when people live in unity there is time to celebrate, time to rejoice.

Lord thank you that outsiders can become insiders.

Lord the quiet moments remind me of the times I have failed, but with each failure comes the reminder of a covenant of a new beginning.

Lord as Jesus reminds us even the law breaks down so that all will be “blessed.”


Today’s theme is Nurturing New please select music celebrating the opportunity to start new.


The newest Jamaican Gospel Sound


The Korean Sound:   https://www.facebook.com/36ccstory/ . This link takes you to a blog. Enjoy.

So what would happen if we had a million Christian People March into North Korea. No weapons. Deeds and acts of caring only.


I am convinced it was a very long journey for Joseph to reach the point of being so forgiving. Now one may say, it is easy to forgive when you reach a status of wealth and power. That may be true, but the story doesn’t remove the concept of responsibility. Joseph did not gush over his family to the point of ignoring his responsibility nor did he abandon his heritage. His history was real yet he went in a new direction. He did not ignore his past, he realized the failure of his past and how it required history not repeat itself.

The words of the Psalmist make a lot of sense. Unity is not something just to be talked about. It is only as it is experienced that “new” can be “nurtured!” If society is to have time to make a new beginning the time used in bickering, fighting over special status, these kind of things will have to stop. In the medical community we are already seeing how unity has been severed. The concern for all people to have standardized care has taken a back seat. As I read the social history of the ancient Hebrew people as well as the early history out of my own tradition values seemed to be lived louder than today. Today’s generation talks about it, sings about it, creates video’s about it and then creates cash flow systems that often strangle the very good being talked about. Our world is full of professional do gooders. I believe I, you, we could rant on about this for a long time. So maybe Nurturing New is not about taking up arms, screaming for justice. Maybe Nurturing New is changing our own lives with a new attitude and direction.

I am pleased with the growth we are seeing in the sarcoidosis groups. In two years we have grown from a handful of participants to tens of thousands. As we have been growing we are seeing break off groups not break away groups. Groups are taking on individual personalities while at the same time moving in the same direction.

Maybe nurturing new is about being creative, about admitting we are becoming new anyway. Maybe nurturing new is about being intentional. I sometimes laugh at how abrupt Jesus is with the disciples and others. Then I look at how I have made excuses for myself. I see how much time is used in charitable work to make sure volunteers are comfortable. I see how much energy is expended to upgrade the quality of life to make sure my children had it better than I did. Nurturing New for me is a new term. I kinda like it though as it doesn’t criticize me, doesn’t judge me, lets me say okay starting right now it changes. Yesterday I spent all day working on coaching materials. My conclusion…I quit. After walking away I came back. I realized I hadn’t quit I just stopped. Then the phone rang and a man named Hector told me he was calling to help. I talked about the website problems, I talked about my inability to always stay focused. I did my normal prednisone tirade. Hector just said okay lets go new. You can you know.

This morning the first test was run on the coaching page. It worked.

While I write here people are responding to the invitation to nurture new. Together we will add this to the coaching mandate.

Take care, be safe and God bless for God will bless. Just as Joseph experienced this newness it can work for us as well.

Closing Moment:  October Project – Grace – The Book of Rounds



New album The Book of Rounds:…

Please Forgive Me I Forgot.

Good Morning, this is the Meditation for Sunday August 13, 2017 My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)

SCRIPTURE: http://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/texts.php?id=154

•Genesis 37:1-4, 12-28 and Psalm 105: 1-6, 16-22, 45b  •
•    1 Kings 19:9-18 and Psalm 85:8-13  •
•    Romans 10:5-15  •
•    Matthew 14:22-33


PRAYER:—add your prayer thoughts in the reply boxes below.

Lord we live in a world of blended families. It seems like this has been the norm. Somehow the norm has been redefined and socio-economic decisions have then been created and like Joseph’s brothers angst has grown.

Lord sometimes things don’t go right but history shows You still made it right.

Lord how many times can each of look back and count good things that happened to us. Thank You.

Lord sometimes it feels lonely. Then when I look around I see where you have been and are now seeking to do your good work. Enable me to be faithful, to stay faithful. Please.

Lord in the midst of knowing and doing what is right, in the midst of working at doing what is right, in comes Jesus. His presence calms the storm letting all to know that right and goodness is often just being willing to stand, not arguing just loving.

Lord it is easy to get lost. At times the storm clouds of life become tumultuous, anxiety takes control. Just as the disciples had to learn, teach us to reach out and receive your presence.

MUSIC: please select music prompted by your reading of the text.

Immortal Invisible.  https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-mozilla-002&hsimp=yhs-002&hspart=mozilla&p=Immortal%2C+Invisible%2C+God+Only+Wise+you+tube#id=4&vid=a2aca7b81ee5cebbfd15d3bbaf28a21e&action=view

When Morning Gilds the Skieschttps://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-mozilla-002&hsimp=yhs-002&hspart=mozilla&p=when+morning+gilds+the+skies#id=7&vid=87bee2ea9a68fac59ed7c15ee9d54d56&action=view


I shared once before about a message I had prepared. It was a very difficult message. The title of it was Please Forgive Me I Forgot.

The title of the message did not appear in the worship bulletin. While I was sharing the message it seemed as if no one moved a muscle. The quietness was overwhelming. The only sound was that of a penitent young pastor confessing to a congregation.

When the message was over a man in the congregation went to the pastor and told him off. “I don’t come to hear a sermon about how human my pastor is. I come to be motivated, to be lifted above the experiences of the week. All week long I work hard, I am tired and the last thing I want to hear is that!”

As I was reading the scripture for the morning the words please forgive me I forgot came to mind.

Joseph’s brothers had made a decision. They were tired of the “little brat” always getting his way. Joseph was special and he seemed to know it. In their frustration they forgot. They planned together. In a weaker moment they gave in and at least let him live.  But they forgot.

The Psalmist reminds us life is made up of history. We can look back, we can monitor our steps, our experiences. Once we do that even the worst of things seem to fall into perspective. There are so many good things. There were so many GOOD things. It is as if the Psalmist is reminding us not to forget there will be a lot more good things yet to come.

Elijah found himself feeling somewhat alone. The story tells us God used a battalion of natural catastrophes to get Elijah’s attention. Still he had to be reminded he was not alone. One could only imagine the scene when Elijah woke up. Perhaps he said something like this…”Please forgive me I forgot!”

The Apostle Paul reminds us of a very simple message. Somehow it is a message that has gotten lost in the glass cathedrals, in the sound systems, in the worship teams and in the mission quests to “win” the world for Jesus. Paul simple tells us in the midst of everything going on God has reached out to us. Jesus has stepped into our world to say, simply trust God for God has prepared the antidote for dying. There is no distinction between this person and that person. All need to simply accept, believe, respond to the outreached hand. Like the disciples who went in the boat, when the storm came they forgot. Perhaps the pressures of living with sarcoidosis, broken medical services, family and friend systems that breakdown, histories that prove whatever we want to argue for need to be put into perspective. God simply says, I gave you life now live it in the freedom to know I will ultimately give you eternal life. It is yours to choose.



Good Morning, this is the Meditation for Sunday August 6, 2017 My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)

Opening prayer: Good morning God. It has been quite a night. As I stop and I listen to the silence I remember the battles during the night. Like Jacob of old we/I wrestle. I show the effects of many battles but now I rest. Guide me, guide us in this time to learn of you, to celebrate you and to walk with you. Make this our prayer. Amen.


As I read the posts I pray for individual people and their concerns from skin issues to lungs and breathing, from joint pain to walking, from brain fog to concerns about the di

As I read the posts I read about broken relationships and family struggles, from job loss to money shortages, from losing one’s home to moving from spot to spot to survive. Lord hear our prayer.

As I read the posts I read that you seem distant and far away, you seem to be nonexistent to many, Lord remove what ever existing barriers there are to clearing the way to your working.

Add your thoughts of prayer in the COMMENTS area.

Lord hear our prayer. Amen.
•    Genesis 32:22-31 and Psalm 17:1-7, 15  •
•    Isaiah 55:1-5 and Psalm 145:8-9, 14-21  •
•    Romans 9:1-5  •
•    Matthew 14:13-21


Please choose music consistent with the Scripture reading from today.

Love Divine, All Love Excelling.

My Jesus I love thee

Down to the River to Pray


Where is your brain at? A friend said recently, “you are in your brain, aren’t you?”
It is not something I had consciously done. My response, my hip and back are hurting again, I said. A while ago I had gone to the doctor and asked for a cortisone shot. He refused me. I knew it would be a matter of time before I would be incapacitated by the pain. Someone in his (the doctor’s) system had sent me a letter asking me to evaluate this doctor. I chose to wait. I will write someday. In the meantime I will go in search of yet another service. Living twenty minutes from hospital care doesn’t guarantee hospital care.

Each time I read the story of Jacob my mind wanders to unnecessary pain.

A man in the night came, wrestled with Jacob, put his hip out and then Jacob resigned himself to this as some form of wrestling with God.

The prayer of the Psalmist comes as a cry for vindication.  What happens to a person when the support system around them collapses? Jacob found himself wrestling with a stranger. Many have wrestled with who this stranger was. Some say an angel, Jacob said it was God. Jacob said he prevailed yet he is remembered for his limp.

The Psalmist says, test my heart, look at my steps, I will be found faithful, I will remain faithful.

Today as I contemplate these words I think of my own walk. This wrestling with sarcoidosis has become my third career. The last 16 years have been an experience of rekindling the years of struggle. My first career was in the church. I had a wonderful experience as long as I ignored the pressures from the outside.  If I could have been just a pastor, but that wasn’t the case. In each church setting unbelievable pressures from the outside came. Politics took it’s toll.  Eventually I found myself in the community. There again as long as I was in the program/project wonderful things were happening. Then politics got involved. Politics. What role does politics have to do with anything?

In my worlds I have discovered politics have become the way one culture either works with or dominates another culture. Jacob was to become Israel. The sons of Jacob were to become multiple nations of people. The brokenness of Jacob carried over.

I went to a doctor. I was told in that system do what you are told. What does it mean to wrestle with multiple levels of brokenness? The body is broken. The medical system is broken. My next thought scared me. A random thought hit me…hope is broken!

The prophet Isaiah is known to many as the prophet of hope. The text certainly supports that view. He leaves us with the understanding that we can turn to God. My ultimate experience leaves me with the same understanding. I can turn to God. In fact after all else was tried there were no other options. The arrogance of the man who wrestled with Jacob. The politicians fighting for their own agenda. The medical system now imposing it’s so called “bottom line” ideology all strip us of our dignity.

The story told about Jesus encourages us to understand their can be dignity in this life of ours.  For Jesus it was simply to take what you have, then share it as you can. AMEN.


I’ll fly away

The Meditation for Sunday July 23 THE HIGH ROAD.

My name is Carl and I am being coached by Grace. It is the Grace of God that stands behind us, is to the right of us, to the left of us and opens doors before us. (if you are comfortable repeat that statement using your own name.)
Opening thought:  This has been a difficult week for me as I gave myself permission to experiment with words, specifically “God talk.” I chose to listen to the implications of words rather than just the words themselves.

Humanity is more than a religious society, we are also a spiritual society. In some way we are also a people who attempt to control what we think that spirit should sound like and what form that spirit should take. The human sense of ego is clearly a part of this discussion. Please take time to spend a moment to focus on your own sense of spirit before you go any further. If you are a praying person pray to be sensitive to the tidal wave of emotions you will hear. Pray you will have a mind that can objectify words in order to hear what is actually being said.

The format for this meditation process will be consistent with the past. I as writer identify a thought or theme that has become a burning issue for me at this moment. I then read the assigned text from the Lectionary. I write down what principles about life, or what story arises that speaks specifically to me from the text. I ask you very clearly to read ALL the scripture in the assigned writings. There is no denial I come with preconceived positions or conclusions of faith. It is the hope you would see certain words as a statement of belief rather than “the ultimate word, or final word” of truth on a specific subject.

Please hear the words of this congregational hymn.

How does this speak to you or do you find the lack of professionalism offensive?

Scripture: http://lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu/texts.php?id=151

Genesis 28:10-19a and Psalm 139:1-12, 23-24 • Wisdom of Solomon 12:13, 16-19 or Isaiah 44:6-8 and Psalm 86:11-17 • Romans 8:12-25 • Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43

Prayer: please read the Scripture and write words meaningful to you that lead you in prayer.

Lord, Jacob had a dream, the conclusion of the dream said you are in this place. Lord are you in my place too?

Lord, the Psalmist tells us his thoughts are about you, then concludes: Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wickedness in me. Lord do I want to pray that way after spending a week living in the depths of my soul.

Lord, Solomon was known for his wisdom, help me in what I think is my wisdom as well. Solomon concluded people make mistakes, I wonder if my people here think about the mistakes we make or are we just to busy defending our right to be wrong.

Lord, Isaiah says there is one God, are you that God?

Lord, the Psalmist talks about you again. I am humbled by his words. He is content in a way I am not. I seek to submit myself to the spirit of your words.

Lord, the Apostle Paul tells us there is something going on. We are a part of that “going on.” Lord give me, give us patience to watch it unfold. Allow us to experience how great it may be.
Lord Jesus puts patience into another image. It is the image that that both good and bad seed have been sown. At the end of time the fruit of the good seed shall be harvested and the fruit of the bad seed shall be burned. Lord is that what all this pain and suffering is all about? Help me to know because everyday I get asked “why me Lord, why all these words that lead to discontent and hurt.

Lord,  Jesus puts patience into another image. It is the image that that both good and bad seed have been sown. At the end of time the fruit of the good seed shall be harvested and the fruit of the bad seed shall be burned. Lord is that what all this pain and suffering is all about? Help me to know because everyday I get asked “why me Lord, why all these words that lead to discontent and hurt.

Music: please add you choices below.

Seek Ye the Lord

Seek Ye First

I Created You

Meditation: the high road.

I have approached this morning with a certain amount of fear. You are my friends. You are my fellow sojourners, my goal is to walk along side of you, sometimes in front of you and even sometimes behind you. But always in a way you knew you were not abandoned. Words. Words can and do hurt.

We are a people with a long term illness. Sometimes the illness dies before we do. Sometimes we quit living before we die.

The background for the meditation is a conflict about how we include our ultimate sense of hope, or express words about our hope. Can we say those things/words publically? Even more so can we wish that hope, that “blessing” on someone who doesn’t either like your words or are offended by your words?

The use of the Bible is a centuries old practice. Each generation tries to be consistent with the truth of the previous generation. Then there are groups and generations who manipulate historical words to there own purposes. We have this happen around issues of gender, abortion, use of money, use of mineral wealth, authority structures, etc. It just so happens that this site deals with health. So the use of the Bible is again done. What do I mean by done?

Lets go to the Bible and see how it is “done!” The writer of Genesis uses it as story telling and history. The Psalmist uses it as words of faith. This is different than “truth.” This is an extremely important distinction. Why, because! No matter what the situation the person is saying no matter what I choose God. Words arise out of pain, words arise out of wonderment, it is as if the words don’t matter. Only the belief in God matters.

The texts go on, Solomon, Isaiah, the Psalmist, Paul and even Jesus starts from the quotient “God is.” I find our members who bring “God talk” into their post share this common belief. Again, “God is!”

That brings us to the second group of people. They take the position “God isn’t.”

I cannot speak for this group. In fact I have spent most of the day trying to. What alarms me is we have become a comfortable society. Even with illness that seems to be out of control trust for many falls in the medical system. Someone will figure it out. The important thing right now is not to tell people what are the acceptable words as much as what the acceptable attitude is around words.

Even in the religious community there are confusing words. For instance in the Christian environment three additional groups have emerged.

The first is a group that suggests healing is a matter of belief. Biblical words are often strung together to make a point. If you accept this point you will be healed. If you aren’t then there is something wrong with you.

The second group is a form of Christian hedonism. This group again takes Biblical words and strings them together to justify a successful materialistic lifestyle. There is a demanding process that surfaces. A very clear set of words and values take shape. Every now and then a new person is added to this group proving it is the only way to believe.

The third group also seems to be growing. In the midst of all the tragedy and struggles this group chooses not to blame God for the failures but nor do they talk about miraculous healings. They talk about the teachings of Jesus as a way of life. In this process a way of life is viewed as a way to stand against evil. Sarcoidosis would clearly be seen as the result of evil.

Language arises out of perspective and beliefs. I appreciate the perspective of a team of our moderators. The group of 30 were asked to consider the situation that arose. A conclusion was conceived. We are a secular environment. We started like so many hospitals, schools, social groupings. As we grew we are/were appealing to many outside a faith basis. As the group grows it is imperative language adjusts to remain nurturing a healing environment. It is also imperative people from both religious and non-religious groupings understand words change in meaning. Therefore time has to be taken to discover what is actually being said. Assumptions, conclusions, and actions based on wrong interpretation is wrong in and of itself.

Therefore the solution is found in the willingness to seek not just a middle road but the high road.

Conclusion:  My God.