It comes to my attention that you made me feel really good about myself. When I needed to cope with feelings or situations I was dealing with, you came in mind and the pain would soon be gone. You helped me try to have a good life. When a party came up, you came with me or you would meet me there. You tried to never leave my side. When I were to multiply, you had this weird habit to get into my mind and want me. What you did was so clever. There were times that you wanted this so bad that you would not become somebody else’s house, “take me take me.” Sometimes when I did not hear you’re the 1st couple times would start singing louder and louder than it could get the hell. Soon after I couldn’t resist anymore and I would have you on my hand with this adrenaline rush of what’s going to happen next, I hope it’s better than the last time.
The way you wanted me was unbelievable. When people started giving up or stepping back on me, and stayed there telling me you won’t leave me. I knew you wouldn’t leave. You were there so I could feel good about myself. The things you did to make me feel good about myself were so convincing. The highs you gave me were intended for me to leave reality and enter a world where you and I could be in control. The world had me thinking I was the most powerful person ever stepped foot on this misleading world wanted me to call home.
I understand now I wasn’t in control. The lies you made me tell myself got me in a position where I would lose relationships with people that meant a lot to me. You are so selfish, who wanted me all for yourself and your mom loved ones in my life. The worrying and hurt I caused them to you is all because I resorted you know my name and the chance to leave reality.
You wanted to be in my life constantly. There were times I would sit there with you and once I got you in my system, you will tell me to take more. “One more hit or one more pill won’t hurt you” would often cross my head and then I will be taking that one more hit or that one more pill. Soon it led to a few more hits were a few more pills. There was no stopping you. Every single time you got what you wanted. I got what I wanted. You had me so brainwashed that I was to a point where you was what I wanted.
The highs you gave me made me feel invincible. I would once again be in that world that you wanted me to call home, but sooner or later I would come back to reality and reality did not change for the good. Yes my imaginary world was a nice place to escape to that was never a never ending process. I would always come off a high from you and reality would strike me hard.
I lost trust from people. Their respect for me was gone. I kept some of the people I care about the most out late in the night worrying about me. You tried to push all the love ones I had in my life away from me so you could be the only part in my life. For a while there you had me. All I thought about was you and it affected my life in reality and that’s the life that’s actually review.
So I’m saying my goodbyes to you so I can live the real life. The life that actually counts. Like the God judges me on. That world that I escaped to no longer exists. I made this decision when I decided that I need the stuff that you tried to push out of my life. This other great escape no longer interests me anymore. I thought this relationship that we had was a very good relationship. I was wrong. On trying to do was control me and now I say goodbye to you. I no longer need you in my life. I found better things that make me happy and I won’t lose anything good out of it. So goodbye drugs, you no longer are part of my life.
ps This letter is being posted with Daniel’s permission. If you choose to quote from it please give proper credit.